Just DieAnne nothing more. (Well one or two as well lol)

Something is wrong I don’t know what. I hate being here.

I don’t want any of this.

I’ll put links at the end of each of the ones that bring this together.

Diana wants to finish what she promised she would finish for us but with me here and being so strong a presence all she can feel is my darkness and despair along with her feelings. It makes for a big cluster fuck. Diana needs to get some stuff done but with me and some of my entourage being so close… she can’t.

She (Diana) is trying to do what she can to soothe the savage beast – me DieAnne… but not everything I would want.

She did her part and now I have to try to do mine.

I’m just surprised that we are still here. I was having a really rough patch when the date came when the bank took over our home. We are still here, no Sheriff with ejectment papers yet…

… all of a sudden there was a knock on the door and then the doorbell… (That can still strike fear in us) we had to go downstairs… I wanted to punch whoever was there right in the face and say Fuck You and your papers.

These people from the bank are motherfuckers with the shit they pull. (Enter Bitch lol)

Lucky for them (and the rest of The Collective) it was those pests who come around asking about your electricity supplier. I’m surprised they came back to my unit.

The last time they came by was spring time, I was (well, not me DieAnne – it was Bitch) making dinner and chopping up some stuff when the bell and knocking came.. we saw them going door to door so we knew who it was when our bell rang. I decided to just keep what I had in my hand at the time in my hand and if they got to insistent… I would bring that hand into view.

He got insistent and even tried (jokingly?) to invite himself to dinner. (This one wasn’t Curtis from the above pest link). Seriously! I mean come on… if I say no. I mean NO.

So that is when the other hand came into view. He left quick. We’ve had these assholes come around and actually try to get into our condo! Telling us that they needed to see the meter… I was like fuck you get lost you are not getting in my home. I called the cops because he had no ID or anything from the company he “represented” yeah fuck off. (I’m still here too… Bitch.)

Today when they came again… I saw it wasn’t the sheriff but those energy pests again.. I just told them, sorry, I already have a supplier.. and closed the door went back upstairs and had to sit for a bit because we really thought it was the sheriff. Had to catch my breath and let my heart calm down. (Diana)

Diana called the court-house and seeing these assholes (not the court) but Wells Fargo and their hit squad always do things at the end of the week… there is nothing new, nothing to worry about.

For now anyway. You never know with those assholes. They tell you do this do that… then oh, no, sorry do this but now it’s too late and you should have done this or that and let me transfer you… then the people they “assign” to help you.. these “specialists” are just specialists in dicking people around.

Fucking assholes.

Any relief available we no longer qualify for because they – Wells Fargo and their lawyers – Hunt Leibert – went ahead and had yet another hearing without letting me know and now we can’t do anything but wait wait wait wait…

I HATE WAITING. Living in uncertainty is horribly depressing and stressful beyond belief. (DieAnne & Bitch)

I just want to smash something, fucking punch someone anything to get this feeling out of here. I have not smashed anything nor punched anyone out. lol Don’t worry… then again, the day isn’t over yet. lol (Bitch)

I did something small for DieAnne earlier but she wants more and I don’t want to do more. We are grateful for our sister Saki that she had a little time to talk earlier.. that made things a little better for DieAnne. (Diana)

Well, at least we kind of understand why the “waiting” for anything these days is so hard and causes anxiety.

I guess they had their say, so I (Diana) will try to finish what I promised because this one can’t be published without the other 2 being published because they will kind of link together.

Christmas Eve…

Before Christmas… 

After Christmas…  

DieAnne, Bitch and Diana (12/27/13 9:05pm)

T’was the night before Christmas Eve

It’s about 10pm on the night before the night before Christmas. I am actually listening to music and even singing a little… go figure. I know it’s because I promised the little ones and some of the older ones I would post for them.

I’ll put links at the end of each of the ones that bring this together – some may have more links than others… I’m getting tired and so…. if it’s too confusing, let me know. 🙂

This is an important part of The Meld and I don’t want anyone’s feelings hurt inside of The Body or outside yet I cannot deliberately not do something that is very important to our – MY – wellbeing. We don’t need Bitch or Heidi (Yea, two extremes right there.. ) upsetting the apple cart so to speak. So I told them I would start a post but not actually post it untill after Christmas. This way they can see if they were right or wrong and how they handle any possible situation….

So, here we go… I’m going to take a moment and let them decide how they want to do this. (10:15pm 12/23/13) It’s a new thing that came with the melding process… idc, it works for us so far. – Diana.

Here is what Heidi’s concern is: that the brother will call her the birth name at least once and we have asked long ago for them to call us by the right name. he doesn’t and don’t know why. he should have respect for what people want/need. especially if it’s a relative. he calls me that name and I want to curl up and die. I know they have a hard time with it but shit so do we! We’re just learning how to get through the melding process. – heidi (10:45pm 12/23/13) We think he’s really cool and when he gives the look that makes us feel stupid and like a bad little kid.

We miss him. The conversations. The closeness. I don’t know what happened but there is more than just distance there, there is a huge wall that was reenforced with Kevlar and rubber. That makes me and some of the other dark ones feel like more of an annoyance than a sister. The rubber over the Kevlar just makes whatever we may have said or asked bounce right back in our face pushing us down to the dark place. I don’t think it’s intentional on any of my siblings part… just like the mother and father… (We recently found the invitation to his swearing-in ceremony about a month before he died as the Exhaulted Ruler of the Elks. He signed it Love, Big Daddy – Pops. We miss him so much. – Diana etc.)

I have to stop now because I’m feeling Heidi and the dark ones stirring so this is going to be a work in progress… you will know when we were able to write by they time and date after they have their idea of what Christmas Eve will be like. I will get it done for them before we leave tomorrow (12/24/13) to go to Celine’s. Then I will post what actually happened and how they handled it within a day or so of Christmas Day. (Diana 12/23/13 10:57pm)

(Diana – 12/24/13)

I’m going to be fast here because they are all pretty calm right now because of Big Mama and the 1111’s 

Heidi is really afraid they are going to pull an intervention or something… she is scared stiff.

Diane is worried that if we are called the wrong name even once it will crack open the door to DieAnne.

Wendy just feels worthless and doesn’t want to go because she feels they don’t want her around.

That’s pretty much how they are feeling.. but after the Reiki earlier (See post linked above Big Mama and the 1111’s)) we feel better, nervous but excited and a little scared lol.

Christmas Eve 12/24/13

After Christmas Eve…


Diana (12/24/13 4:31)