With all this Melding going on, one thing I noticed is that The Body hasn’t woken up with that awful panicked feeling of “OMG, what happened last night/yesterday…” since this Meld became apparent to us/me.
Sometimes when people get really drunk they awaken with those panicked feeling where they have no idea what they did and with whom or where… I’ve seen friends over the years a time or two have that happen.
Now picture that happening without getting drunk.
You’re home from your night out, go to bed and just waking up, you get that few seconds of peace before the day dawns on you… then the panic sets in. The Body’s heart starts racing, the panic grows, the confusion comes in when you start waking up and realizing that someone else took over and left you in the dark.
Roxy woke up with that wtf I don’t remember what happened at some point about a year ago?…. One time I remember a suggestion being made by the friend I was out with but after that Angel took control and the next thing I remember was nothing but some faint distant snapshots of things that happened. An alcohol hangover would be so much easier to handle.
That my friends is the hangover without the actual getting drunk and paying for it hangover feeling. It’s due to switching and it doesn’t go away like a hangover from alcohol would… this goes deep. It goes to the dark place(s) and that is not good. It can take anywhere from a couple of minutes, a few hours to a few months to get some semblance of our normal back. I don’t know what else to say about this. But it is scary and startling.
Depending who comes out and what we are doing or where we are… that “hangover minus alcohol” feeling can be there. It is awful.
If there is a switch and Roxy is out with a friend having a couple of drinks… or more. lol Roxy can handle a lot. Me, (Diana) not so much nor do I care to. But if Roxy is out and then Angel comes out and takes over… well that is a mix for trouble. Even if there is no alcohol involved… Angel can handle a few drinks pretty well but then “I’m” left wondering wtf happened? (I’m speaking for Roxy now…) Last thing I remember was sitting at a table having a beer or wine or whatever talking with my friend…. the next thing I remember is there I was in the passenger seat going to another friends home with my friend. Bad news.
We unfortunately have to delete some stuff of Angels… lucky for me (Diana) I found her info by accident so I can go in and delete her stuff. She doesn’t know this yet. So right after this I have to do that.
That awful feeling that you have no idea how you got where you were when it wasn’t where you thought you went really sucks ass.
Good news… it hasn’t really happened to the extent it did prior to this November. Over the years it happened less and less.
A good example of this is when Heidi came out at some point during that ambulance ride to the ER. I was going to link a post with some info on what happened with Heidi but for the life of me I don’t know if it was ever posted… in a nutshell, on October 8, 2013 we ended up going to the emergency room from the mental health clinic due to a really really bad panic attack that made the body’s blood pressure dangerously high… so during the ambulance ride at some point Heidi came out. We ended up huddled in a small corner of one of the er psych rooms instead of where we should have been – getting the bp checked out but Heidi didn’t know that. She just found herself put in a bare bones room being asked questions she had no answers to. Another hangover without the booze. We all just felt dirty, unwanted, totally confused, lost and scared not knowing what was happening. A bad little girl locked away.
Thank God for the constants in our life! I know Marshall is one, his dad – my ex husband is another one… I am waiting on meeting more friends and family to see how much I (Diana) know about them. It’s exciting but giving me slight panic attacks… we’re strong. We can do this. We CAN do this!
Ok, time to delete Angels stuff before she gets wind of it and deny’s me the accidental access I got lol…