After Christmas

Well, I decided to just link these posts together instead of a long drawn out one. This is probably the end one of the bunch.

I’ll put links at the end of each of the ones that bring this together.

It’s hard to write right now because all I can feel is DieAnne and I don’t know why. I think she just needs to write on her own for now. It won’t be a post that is G rated either. I feel bad for her especially since I don’t know what’s wrong and why she is so strong a presence today… ever since I woke up. Maybe it was something we dreamt? (Diana – 12/27/13 8pm)

DieAnne did her thing as you can see by the second link above. I (Diana) feel a little better. I still feel the sadness and lack of hope on my face but it’s not my face, it’s theirs.

So, here we go with what REALLY happened on Christmas Eve at Celine’s…. Are you ready?

Heidi’s concern was: that the brother will call her the birth name at least once. Just about all of us do not think it’s intentional on any of my siblings part.

It’s hard enough for us to try to understand and finally on October 8th 2013 we gave up trying to understand… it’s like breathing, you do it because you have to survive. For me trying to force figuring this out is like stopping breathing.

I stopped fighting against it and started breathing.

You’re who you are because you are who you are… I’m who I am with just more people in one body. If you think you don’t understand it, let me tell you I don’t really understand it either and I can’t just pop onto another web page or change the channel and be done with it… I can’t escape it. It’s all inside one body, the wants, the needs… ugh. Tiring.

That page you turn, book you put down, channel you change, outfit you put on, what you want to do… All that stays with me. Like I said I can’t escape from myself/selves.) IT is who I am. A Multiple.

I am learning a lot about how you Singles live and think just like you are learning how this Multiple aka The Collective lives and thinks. I appreciate any welcome any and all questions because they not only help you but give me answers and insights!

Back to the results… drum roll please…..

Wendy just feels worthless and didn’t want to go because she feels they don’t want her around. Heidi was really afraid they were going to pull an intervention or something… she was scared stiff. –

– That did not happen and Heidi has very valid reasons for thinking to that extreme. She pretty much clung to Celine for a while until she got a little comfortable then some of the others peeked out but stayed to the side and out-of-the-way, just observing. Heidi and Wendy were ok for the most part and let me – Diana just BE me. We were accepted and welcomed with open arms!!! It was wonderful and my favorite Christmas Eve ever! 

Diane is worried that if we are called the wrong name even once it will crack open the door to DieAnne. –

– Unfortunately, that did happen and could be partly why DieAnne has been around all day today. It was only once but once is one time too many. I just gave the one who did it a snarly look and let it be at that. Being called that name brings back to how we felt as a child… in the way and unwanted. I said how we FELT. We did get banished to our room a lot tho and that again brings to light why we all HATE waiting. There is more information in one of the other links. 

That’s pretty much it I think. They were thinking doom and gloom when in reality, it was the best time ever and we felt like we really belonged for the first time. I really didn’t want to leave when we did but Marshall had to work the next day.

I even got to have short little chats about it with each of them and to reassure one for sure who tested me about socks. lol (I love you Saki!)

I felt loved and cared for. You never know what it really feels like until you feel it… and feel it I did… we all did. I never knew what I was missing!

The pics we took, the conversation everything was wonderful!! Except that we had to leave shortly before my nephew and his girl got there.

To sum it up: It’s embedded deep within all of us maybe even to the core or dead one! It was the best Christmas Eve EVER! All that fuss and worry for nothing… but I understand somewhat about where it stems from and by going and doing and asking and answering it gets easier to handle.

T’was the night before…


Diana (12/18/13 2:29am)