Keeping me in a Box

It really sucks when the ones who always say they will be there for you aren’t and instead create a huge chasm.

I was in the ER for evaluation yesterday, right from my clinic appointment. (You can read what started the cascade of triggers here.) We decided it was a good idea for my safety/sanity. They would have admitted me except I said no, I think I’ll be ok because my boyfriend knows about the DID, he will be there for me as well as my son. (They have a crisis worker calling me again tomorrow to check in. 🙂 So far so good.)

When I got home about 7 hours later I had a ton of voice mails and messages from friends asking if I was ok etc… was there any call, message or text from my sisters?  Nope. Not even after they knew. They get a slight pass for not contacting me during those 7 hours because they didn’t know I was there all that time, but once they found out did they call or text? Nope. Just bashed me on Facebook.

I really need my family right now more than ever and now… I don’t have my sisters. They made that very clear. My brother, I don’t know about… he stays pretty quiet. Sadly I am realizing that if it’s something uncomfortable to talk about or understand…. people tend to divert the conversation or just leave you in the box.

in a box

Celine and Saki claim I am playing the victim, however they have taken my issues and made themselves victims. If they bothered to read everything they would see how much I need them. I am so not a victim. I am a strong woman who has survived a lot and like the energizer bunny I keep going and going and going…. I will get through this too. Right now getting through this I will not have their support, right now they are triggers and I had to unfriend and even block them for now.

I still love and need them but I know I won’t have any support from them until something drastic happens… eh, probably not even then. The stress I’m under OMG more than ever but I’m still fighting and will not be knocked down by anything or anyone, if you’ve read other blogs talks about that.. just look for foreclosure in the tags lol.

No one can tell you your life is a lie. Walk a mile in my shoes then tell me how much of a lie my life is. Then maybe we can talk. If my life is a lie then they are also saying every positive thing I have said is also a lie.

I was told not to even friend request my adult niece because I talk openly about the DID on my Facebook . (Feel free to follow me there if you want to. You can check out my Page. That talks more about DID, support, Spirituality and Reiki as well as how Reiki has helped me handle triggers and just my life in general).

I don’t approve of the type of person who will say “Why didn’t you call, we’re here for you.” Then if you do you either feel worse or like you should have never called at all.

It seems that my sisters want nothing to do with us and are apparently only reading bits and pieces of my blogs. That is their problem and not mine. They are upset and now spreading their version of my life. It really irks me when people don’t read everything before acting on what they think they read without reading everything.

That is not my problem, it hurts badly what is being posted about me but like I said it’s not my problem that people don’t read everything before opening their mouth.

I guess if I had a “circular saw” “accident” they would be there in a heartbeat with all the “Why didn’t you call etc….we’re here for you…. ” Lies. All lies and now I am finally back in their Box. Out of sight out of mind. I mean who cares if their sister is getting foreclosed on, dealing with the stress of all that, trying to get help through the state, trying to find a new home also dealing with other things others are not aware of nor do they need to be known.

I was accused of making everything up and I can tell from some of the hurtful comments all around that they only paid attention to the negative and not the positive.

I still will keep that summer fun time I had with my sisters and my niece in my heart because that was a shitload of fun! We were having issues and they were there for us. However the DID now being out in the open… I fear that is the last happy memory we will have with them.

Missing My Mom

That’s all I have to say and I just saw another hurtful post on Facebook from another person who doesn’t know the whole story… *sigh*

~Diana & DieAnne

2 thoughts on “Keeping me in a Box

  1. This was an emotional read. Your courage, positivity and determination is admirable. It’s so true when your at your lowest very few people are their for you. But the power shifts when you start bringing your A game again because its then you that gets to decided if you want them in your lives because when your doing good people seem to return wanting to know what’s new? But I say if you can’t take me at my worst then you cannot have me at my best!


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