Punching Insomnia In The Face


Ok, Ima going to start from how I/we first dealt with this and end with how we decided to handle it from this day forth.

Insomnia

you fucking thief

you steal my dreams

you steal my sanity

you slither in and screw up my mind

eyeball

i’m begging

please take me away

let me dream

let me fly

everything is backwards

time has less and less meaning

eternity

morning and evening meld together

mocking me

hours do not exist in an orderly fashion

days swirl and dart around me just out of reach

teasing

turning me and my world upside down and sideways

entering another dimension

having to rely on trust

there was never a hand to grab

there was never a rope to rescue me from the pit

you get used to the pit

you adapt

you do what you have to do

3am lover

give up

simply give up

throw it ferociously to the universe

before it eats you alive

leaving nothing but ravaged bones

alone

there is a spark of… of…

hope?

the god and goddess heard us

we start to beg

just an undeniable sign

please, sobbing please….

then it happened

the sign

one after the other

undeniable

it’s true

there is hope

always

always

sometimes you just need a

always

mother cat and kittens

embracing insomnia

our friend

24 hours a day

7 days a week with only cat naps to claim

sometimes all it takes is a punch in the face to agree to disagree

Do you agree? I sure do! It’s groundbreaking, settling and amazing!

~Blessed Be~

~Diana (April 7, 2015)

Random Dissociative Musing


So here I sit watching for the squirrels and the birds to find the bread I tossed to them. It’s raining here but they are out there playing. It’s comforting to watch and fun.The “peeping Tom” has not been back on the roof of the house behind us. This was an interesting thing to see… check it out. My cat was looking at him like “How did you get up there???”

I love how you can see Winstons face in the mirror lol.
I love how you can see Winstons face in the mirror lol.

Oh well, can’t find it now, I think the pics are on the dead computer. Sorry. So you just got a pic of Coco and Winston in the window looking out towards the roof the wildlife plays on.

Back to musing.

I find it interesting how my alters have different personality traits. That point was proven with the Walking Dead quiz we did. You can read about that HERE. Take the quiz if you are a fan. lol

I don’t remember this morning. I don’t remember going back up to my bedroom sometime after 5am. I did get a nap tho.

I want a job.

We can’t.

Counting helps but is distracting.

Still can’t breathe.

Face it. No working unless you want to end up inpatient or worse. Stop wasting thoughts on that for now. The time should come.

We miss our Bae!!!

Too many were active yesterday and too close to the front. I think that’s why we only napped for an hour and a half or so. I’m so very drained and tired.

Just put the water on the stove to boil so I have hot water to bathe with. Waiting on that.

I have to learn more on how to tap into them for help. It’s very quiet right now, maybe I will try to nap and turn the water off first. Why not right?

Ok, here we go…

Thanks for spending time with us again!

Blessed Be

Diana (April 7, 2015)