…that I went inpatient for a while and will be MIA for a bit. I need someone or something to slap the crazy out of me. There has been a lot of dissociation lately, a LOT and one of the ones that is causing me issues is Wild Thing. She is very ADD and manic. Now try to imagine that you are so tired you could fall asleep wherever you happen to land. For days. But you have others who want to be busy. For example, I am so tired it isn’t funny. Punch drunk sleep deprived. Last night and all night into the morning we were on the computer, playing games on the tablet, blogging, watching TV, making pasta sauce, creating a cat tent and god only knows what else we did. In reality all I wanted to do was SLEEP. Nope did not happen yet again. This has been going on for over a year now and it has just gotten worse. We do get some sleep I guess in the form of cat naps. It’s better than nothing. If we actually get 4 hours of sleep we are so grateful but that is rare. We are trying to embrace the insomnia but it’s too soon to tell.
We will leave info for Marshall and make sure we pack a bag with a change of clothes and a pair of pajamas. Not sure how long we will be inpatient but it’s for the best and that is a positive change for us. Knowing when to give up and go in for help.
There is too much on my shoulders alone. I am trying to keep a roof over my and Marshalls heads and deal with the courts and the lawyers and the bank waiting to get kicked out with nowhere to stay until we find a place, the utilities on, food in the fridge, etc, and trying to keep my head from exploding — or worse.
If any of my siblings happen to read this, please do not come to see me. You will only make things worse right now and I will be telling the Dr. that so I am kept safe and sound. I don’t mean to come across like a bitch but right now my sisters and brother are the last people I would want around me during this crisis.
Friends, please come see me, I need more of your continued support. Marshall will let you know where I am and the visiting rules.
I will write again when I am able to. Please send light and love as well as Reiki if you are a Reiki Practitioner. I will pull down any positive loving energy at least once a day and I thank you in advance.
Diana (April 9, 2015)