In the Midst of Dissociation ~ Day 79 ~ I’m Positive…


…that things that are falling apart will soon be put back together. I have had a lot of reminders today from friends and my Auntie. Here are a few: “You are stressed because you keep telling yourself that.. You can’t sleep because you keep telling yourself that. You need to try to focus on the positive things.. positive vibes…” “Listen to Dot! Think positive! Love you honey.” “Breath in through the nose, out from the mouth…..think pleasant thoughts!!!!!”

There will be more comments I am sure lol, Marion has not gotten on The Book yet this evening. I will say, I love love love my friends and my Auntie!!!

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Why all of a sudden talk about positivity? Because I was using it wrong. Some of The Collective was positive alright. Positive that I would be crushed. No no no no. No crushing this Bitch. This Bitch will do the crushing. Crush every negative thought. Crush Kill Destroy! 

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So I say fuck’em all and let The Goddess sort them out lol. I did give our situation to The Universe and I will not, I repeat, I will NOT try to take it back. What good would that do? Tell The Universe I have no faith? I have faith!

So anyway back to today and positivity… we had our intake at Yale. Second round of IOP for this chica. Don’t worry, it’s a good thing not a bad one. If it wasn’t for the people there, the doctors, the aprns, the clinicians etc… we would be dead already. Yea, that’s a harsh truth. But a truth none the less. We go back to 4 days a week 3 or so hours a day. (too comfortable to get up and look at my schedule paper to see if it’s 3 or 4, eh, my rides for the next 4 appointments are set up so… can you say lazy? lol) That is a very good thing for us. It’s getting late, just finished watching RAW with Marshall and also decided to pick a Tarot card for my situation. You can check that out here… it’s worth it. It fits perfectly! 

I will leave you with that and I am planning on writing more tomorrow so join me then if you wish. Thank you for spending some of your day with us, it means a lot!

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~Blessed Be~  

~Diana (April 13, 2015)