In the Midst of Dissociation ~ Day 86 ~ Guests


Yes, guests, today we will talk about that. Not the kind of guest you may be thinking of. My kind. Meaning – my alters. The members of The Collective.

We had this handout today at the IOP, a poem from “Say I am You” Poems of Rumi. I’ll let you read it and then I will tell you how it reads for me. Tell me about your reaction to it please, I would love to hear different takes on this. 🙂

The Guest House

This being human is a guest-house
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness, 
Some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
Who violently sweep your house
Empty of its furniture.

Still, treat each guest honorably.
She may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
Meet them at the door laughing,
And invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
Because each has been sent
As a guide from beyond.

Poems of Rumi – Say I am You

Here is my take on it as a woman living with Dissociative Identity Disorder:

This being human is a guest-house
Every morning a new arrival.

Each night when I go to bed I just pray that me, Diana, is the one who wakes up. I have been here for 559 days now. Don’t get me wrong there have been others popping in and out whether for a few moments or a few days. But it’s always been me. I did get a scare recently because I was hearing “Joanna Joanna Joanna” for about a week and when we hear someone’s name, it usually means a switch is coming. I was even getting the headaches. It has not happened as of this moment. I don’t want a switch. I want to be able to change my name legally to a real name not what it is. My legal name got changed to a very generic one that encompasses all of The Collective. 

A joy, a depression, a meanness, 
Some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

“A joy” can be any number of us, Joni, Joanna, Fantasia for example. “A depression” can also be any number of us, for example, Melany, Diane, DieAnne, Heidi. “A meanness” can only be the famous Bitch. They can and very often do come around unexpectedly. Sometimes I am not even aware and that is scary seeing we are co-conscious.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
Who violently sweep your house
Empty of its furniture.

This part about welcoming and entertaining them all… well, I don’t like it at all. It’s probably something that would benefit us though. It’s hard to welcome someone who wants to kill me, sorry.

Still, treat each guest honorably.
She may be clearing you out for some new delight.

Ugh back to this again, if they don’t treat me honorably why should I treat them with honor. Can’t they just clear me out with delight?

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
Meet them at the door laughing,
And invite them in.

Well, this is something that Big Mama does very often. It’s her job, not mine. The “dark thought” – Beyond Diane, the “shame” – Joan, I’m not sure about malice. I really doubt malice unless someone was trying to harm me or my son. But I don’t think that’s malice.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
Because each has been sent
As a guide from beyond.

I suppose I should be grateful because without them I would not be and without me they would not be. I’m sure they were sent from someone who wanted me safe but they seemed to take on lives of their own.

ying yang fire and water

So, that’s about all for tonight, however I am setting this to post about 8am on the 21st. Please do share your take on this poem and I hope you remembered what you thought of it before you read my 27 cents lol. Oh, and I almost forgot, I think as of now I will start to treat the others within The Collective as guests and ask them to do the same.

~Blessed Be~
~Diana~ (April 20, 2015)