An Attitude of Gratitude

You don’t realize how lucky you are until you come across others who are already living in the situation you fear. It’s a fear that brings tears to your eyes, quickens your heart, stops your breath and dampens your palms.

I realized how lucky we really are (even in the precarious situation we are in) earlier today when I read the passage for today that was read in the community meeting. I’ll share it with you and then explain a bit.

It seems to me that I have always been waiting for something better–sometimes to see the best I had snatched from me. ~ Dorothy Reed Mendenhall

Gratitude for what is prepares us for the blessings just around the corner. What is so necessary to understand is that our wait for what’s around the corner closes our eyes to the joys of the present moment.
We have only the 24 hours ahead of us. In fact, all we can be certain of having is the moment we are presently experiencing. And it is a gift to be enjoyed. There is no better gift just right for us than this moment, at this time.
We can, each of us, look back on former days, realizing that we learned too late the value of a friend or an experience. Both are now gone. With practice and a commitment to ourselves, we can learn to reap the benefits of today, hour by hour. When we detach from the present and wait for tomorrow, or next week, or look to next year, we are stunting our spiritual growth. Life can only bless us now, one breath at a time.

I can live in the present if I choose to. Gentle reminders are often necessary, however: I will step into my life, today. It can become a habit, one I will never want to break. 

Waiting for something better leaves me with not enjoying the time we have left in our home. I want to enjoy a day, an entire day. I may have to start small, like an hour and build from there. Looking to something other than what we have right in front of us just leads to disappointment and despair. I don’t want to be the one who says “We should have enjoyed what we had while we had it.”

I choose to live in the present and enjoy every moment. Even the ones that are not so enjoyable. What about you?

That’s all for today… sweet dreams and thanks for stopping in! 

Blessed Be
Diana (April 23, 2015)

In the Midst of Dissociation ~ Day 89 ~ Stone Cold…

…heart no more. Yup, we have some interesting things to share. I will tell you that DieAnne went to group today. All I know is that she was afraid she would get me kicked out. We have an agreement that I – Diana – would be the one coming to group every day. I guess we will find out tomorrow. It would be weird to get kicked out of a psychotherapy group for being psycho lol hehee. I remember the last 45 minutes or so, that’s it, the rest was all DieAnne. DieAnne took a bunch of notes for me and apparently she has a unique flair for drawing lol. She drew an eyeball flower. Nuff said.

It is odd that she was out for more than a few hours or so. Usually she doesn’t stay too long but since she really looked and saw Marshall a couple of weeks ago she now knows why we want to live so badly. Her stone cold heart thawed out. DieAnne is stone cold no more.

She has never ventured out before and was amazed and nervous. I’m not sure what she may have done or said but I am confidant that she behaved.

You see, DieAnne has now become a fierce protector of my life. She who wanted and planned to kill us now fights to live. She is a good one to have as a protector. Bitch is too rigid and doesn’t know how to bend. It seems almost as if she is ‘assimilating’ the protective part of Bitch? Only time will tell.

I feel more settled now. A teensey bit more relaxed knowing she is taking care of things. The only problem may be that little one who still wants to die. We have Big Mama watching over that one for now.

And on that note we will wish you well and thank you for stopping by for a bit!

~Blessed Be~
~Diana~ (April 23, 2015)