In The Midst of Dissociation ~Day 93~ The Aftermath

I’m not sure of a complete title for this one yet, if you see one it means I thought of one while writing this lol. The plan for tonight was to forget about the fiasco written about Here and watch the PPV. I actually dozed off during the PPV WWE Extreme Rules. With the WWE Network we get the PPV included so it’s pretty much free. I really wanted to watch it but it’s ok. Just the fact that I was told the offending conversation that was trashing me on FB is no longer there was good enough for me. Thank God/dess. It was upsetting but now it’s over. As far as I’m concerned it’s over anyway. It’s too bad because I really thought there was a real loving relationship there. I guess not. Also as far as I’m concerned, I’m an only child from this day forward. You do not bash someone who has mental illness much less a family member. Where one should feel most safe I am vulnerable. Most of you know that I suffer from DID as well as a laundry basket full of other dx like PTSD, depression, anxiety etc… how on earth can you care about someone and in the next breath you are slandering them?? Well, my last thought on this here is I really thought there was a chance but I see I am still the black sheep to be kicked around. Well this sheep has left the flock. Is it flock? Herd? Bunch? lol You get the picture.

In a few hours I have to be awake to go for a nuclear stress test. My ride can be here as early as 5:45am. Ugh. It will be good to get it over with and either be able to get to my IOP group or be home and crash.

As for my attitude, I have an attitude of gratitude. We will be finding out about a new place to live in the next day or so!! I’m very excited about this possibility and it is a go so far unless something goes wrong.

I would like to take this time to send a shout out to a few friends who have been there for me through the fiasco mentioned in the link above (Not the WWE one lol), there is Marion, Kim, Sandy and of course Marshall, Lips and otra Hijo… if I forgot any of you, please forgive me as I am quite exhausted but not really sleepy. I know that they will catch me if I fall or am pushed lol.

just hang in kitty believe

Below Kitty are all the open arms of my peeps each holding out a huge fluffy pillows to soften the fall and catch me. I Believe! I trust! I love. I am loved.

you matter


~Diana (April 27, 2015)

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