What I learned in IOP ~ Day 9 ~ Cravings

Cravings don’t have to mean drugs or alcohol exclusively. I always thought that is what “cravings” were. Just drugs or alcohol. I was wrong.

Cravings can also mean any type of repeated behavior that is destructive. In my case it can mean cutting, picking and a few more OCD type behaviors. Once I realized that I was a little stunned. I always thought I was lucky and even above that. I was wrong.

What do cravings stem from? Well, I can only speak for myself. I can also say, I’m not sure where the behaviors stem from, just that they are anxiety related. We had some bad news about an apartment the other day and I realized that the OCD behaviors skyrocketed. My mood deteriorated. I felt like the bad little girl. The dirty little girl. The one who could do nothing right. The problem is nothing that happened was my fault, yet I was thrown into that flashback. There is so much going on in my life right now that as much as I hate to say it, I am in a very fragile state. We have been living in the constant stress of the unknown as well as dealing with the PTSD of the legal system. We had something very traumatic happen in our lives when we were a lot younger and dealing with the courts for the foreclosure triggers us very badly.

Ok, enough for now, I just got a call saying my godfather passed away a little while ago and my head is spinning. Thanks for taking the time to spend with me and please send some love and light our way…

Blessed Be

Diana (May 1, 2015)

Mystical Cat’s Tarot ~ Eight of Earth ~ May 1, 2015

Merry Meet and Blessed Beltane!

This morning my intent for the cards was a bit scattered, going from health to housing to who knows lol. So lets see what the kitties of the universe have to say today.Eight of EarthEight of Earth:

We are born with powerful instincts, but skills must be acquired. This cat has taken her kittens on a nighttime hunting expedition. Watching her carefully, the kittens learn to be focused and alert. They observe how she is aware of every sound on the evening breeze, every rustle in the tall grass. Her familiarity with the terrain allows her to move swiftly and surely. Her confidence communicates itself to her litter, who follow trustingly in her footsteps.

The Cat’s Advice:

All skills improve with practice. Don’t expect to be good at something the first time you attempt it. With time and discipline, you become more and more adept. It can help to find a good teacher who will share her expertise. If you are the master yourself, it is time to pass along your legacy of excellence.

If the card is reversed:

All work and no play makes for very dull kittens indeed. You have been working too hard, focusing too intently on improving your skills or your position, and you’re at risk of losing any joy in the process. Spend time in activities that are all about enjoyment not achievement.

Ha! Wow… I am someone who has forgotten all about joy. We have been so laser beam focused on this foreclosure and eviction that we have had no joy. None. Zero. Well, maybe a teensy bit here and there but very few and far between. I think my goal for this weekend will be to enjoy. Just enjoy. The other members of The Collective learn and repeat the reactions as well as the actions. By the way, the card was reversed for me this morning.

I will enjoy this weekend, starting today. Right now. This moment. How about you?

Blessed Be!

Diana (May 1, 2015)