I feel so good today. So validated! I had a talk with my clinician and explained how I’ve been feeling about being called the wrong name in DBT. I understood her concerns and she understood mine. It was a good meeting. I felt heard and I felt respected. Even better, I felt understood.
As I said in a previous blog, I know I am here for a while, hopefully forever. Otherwise I would not have been so insistent on the name change. I can tell when there is a long-term switch about to happen because there are telltale signs. A “signature” if you will. First I start hearing the name of the one who is ready to come out, this can be for weeks or longer that I hear the name. At the same time I start getting headaches that nothing will get rid of. Then in the later stages, I usually end up with a drastically different hairstyle and/or color. During the last stage, it comes with a furiousness that I cannot compare to anything. By furiousness, I mean urgency not anger. If the face beyond my reflection does not match up then I have to make it match. In this case, I went from semi-long blonde hair to short and sassy dark mahogany. Just so you know, short-term switches do not “require” a name change. Those can last a few hours to a few days so there is no reason to change my name for a short-term switch.
So, I just wanted to let you know that I stood my ground and my clinician stood her ground and our grounds met in the middle with both of us happy. She did not want to make me feel disrespected, that is the last thing they want is to disrespect anyone. DBT is all about a Life Worth Living and for me it is becoming a wonderful Life! I have hope for the first time in decades. Now if only I could get my family on board…. *le sigh*