Lately there seems to be a theme with the Mystical Cats Tarot… trust. Why is it so hard to do? Well, I don’t know about you but for me trust is hard these days. I’ve been through so much where my trust was broken I’m having a hard time getting it back. If you’ve been following me, you know what I’m talking about. Trust has been lost in my personal life, financial and just in general. When trust has been broken repeatedly you, or at least I become depressed and start to expect the worst all the time… that fear hooks in that it will happen again and again because it did happen over and over. You start to believe the worst possible scenarios are what is meant for your life. But the depression oh my God… that is the worst. You just want to give up because the light at the end of the tunnel is the train coming while you lay tied to the tracks. What you don’t realize is that you tied yourself to them and no one can untie you but you. Until you recognize that, you lie there in paralyzing fear of the oncoming train believing the worst is about to happen.
To get it back I have to let it all go. A process that I am working on. I’ve given just about everything in my life over to The Universe however… I unintentionally try to take it back into my control. I know that is not how it works. I have to leave everything in The Universes hands. I’m trying to relax and just let it go. It feels like if I let it go I will implode lol. It’s hard when you are used to controlling everything in your life… used to because I had to. I don’t have to anymore and what took time to realize was that I didn’t have to control everything before either. I don’t think we ever really have control anyway.
To let it go I will believe, I will have faith and I will take the good with the bad. I will not dwell on the possible negative outcomes. Now That will be a challenge but a challenge I am up for. All dwelling on the possible negative outcomes does is remove you from the good that is happening right now. You cannot enjoy the good parts if all you do is dwell.
What is no longer I will not dwell on either… I will let the memories be just that… memories. Lessons learned. Letting it go is freeing and when I am in that state of trust I feel happier, lighter and yes, free. It is not as often as I would like but I am getting there. Sometimes it is just that longing to be free can be hard when you fear the freedom that comes with it. That right there is a conundrum. You ask how can you fear the freedom that comes with being free? It circles back to trusting that you can enjoy that freedom without always fearing that the other shoe is going to drop. It really is a wonderful feeling and I want to feel it a lot more often and that means I have to work at it, it does not come naturally to me… yet. I have hope and I will not lose it again!!
Until next time…