I wish I could say those 4 words to my parents. They have both passed away so the only way I can talk to them is through my Spirit. I have so many unanswered questions… I have gotten a few answers from Spirit tho and it helps.
At first, well how I remember it anyway, I wanted to go to school to become a Flight Attendant so my parents signed me up. Did I finish the schooling? Nope. I decided I wanted to go to school to become a diesel mechanic. There were more examples I am sure but those were the last two schoolings I remember. I also remember how increasingly hard it was to convince my parents to let me do this or that. Of course whichever Alter was out did not understand and was increasingly hurt because they weren’t allowed to do whatever it was that was a first time for them.
The problem was that they did not understand — nor did I at the time — that their child had Dissociative Identity Disorder so each time this child begged to do this or that it was the first time for her but the nth time for her parents. If I was the parent with 3 other younger children to care for I would vote for the ‘out of sight out of mind’ too. It was the easiest thing they could do to keep their sanity.
Now I get why I was ‘banished’ to my room so much and had so many issues within my family. The understanding is coming to me little by little. It’s still not ok what happened to me when I was growing up but at least now I get it.
Until next time…