Who Pulled The Curtains?


It was sunny outside today but dark, so very dark inside. We woke up in the darkness. I don’t know why or how it happened. We deeply miss what was. Our home. Our home is no more. Our home has been no more for almost a year now. July 1 will be a year that we have been homeless. Bouncing around from place to place…  We now struggle and live in a long-term motel. We try to be thankful. We try to be positive. We try to be hopeful. But we can’t breathe… and no one will help… no one will provide the oxygen we need to live. It’s stress related says my doctor… see a shrink. Our shrink says go to the ER if it gets bad because she has no earlier appointments for us. If we go to the ER we are too afraid they will admit us and right now with our situation we cannot have that.

How long can one stay positive and trust that things will work out? How long before they get to a point where they are so desperate they will do anything for relief? I don’t know if I like this new chapter. It feels like no one cares. People want to jump down my throat. People tell me to take care of me. People don’t realize that I cannot afford to take care of me. If I stop to take care of me I will just end up in a worse homeless situation than I am now and lose even more than I have already lost. I really can’t afford to lose any more than I have… I really can’t. I just can’t…

I think it’s time to go find my Coco and snuggle… she gets it.

Yea, until next time…

Blessed Be,

Saila