Dissociation and my Faith

One thing that I do not like is when I have dissociative episodes my faith gets very shaky. I tend to fall into this pit of fear and despair that is hard to climb out of. Sometimes when I write about it, it reminds me of where my faith has gotten me these past few years and it brings me back to it.

Recently I had a bit of a dissociative episode complete with flashbacks and it did shake my faith and shove me into that dark pit.

It really is like climbing out of a dark hole… today I felt as if I needed a second shower and after it I am feeling more like myself. Hahahaaa yea, I know, which Self? Me. I will admit that there are more than one of me here but it is a good thing. One in particular is Serena. She is a big boost when it comes to having faith. She IS our faith. As her name suggests, she is serenity and tranquility. 100% It’s a relief when she is around and is one of the stronger ones like she is now.

As for climbing out… the one thing that we never lost is our ability to ask the Universe for help. It may not be the ‘roar’ of desperation that we think we utter and not even a squeak of ultimate pain comes out but the Universe can hear our heart. Thank God/dess for that!

Anyway, we received another cool ‘reminder’ that we are not alone… I opened the fridge only to find a can of my favorite Monster in there! Last I knew, there was none left lol. Nice surprise for me. 🙂 I had a wonderful quiet morning with Coco too… I know she exhausted herself because it is just she and I here. We are waiting on our boyfriend who will be here soon. She’s shy around him, or better yet I should say reserved. She doesn’t run around like a banshee when he is here… yet. lol

So, that’s what happens to me with dissociative episodes. It also will knock me out for a day or so after the worst is over. That happened so now I can start to just enjoy life fully again. On that note…

Until next time… Blessed Be… Saila