You Know That Little Shiver…


…you get when you have narrowly avoided catastrophe? I still get that when I pass one particular place that I almost lived but it isn’t so bad anymore. Ugh…. it was a tiny – and I do mean tiny – dirty and dank apartment where the guy slept in a tiny living room and I would get the bedroom. Now this living room was smaller than some bathrooms I’ve had. The bedroom… yeah, whenever it rained the ceiling leaked right onto the bed and seeing that the bed was the whole bedroom there was no way that bed wasn’t moldy and disgusting. It was all I could do not to burst into tears right then and there.

I did not end up living there but the point is that little shiver you get. I still get it but it is now combined with disgust and thankfulness instead of run and scream. Disgust I just discussed above and the thankfulness, well, that comes from having friends that will explore any option for you when you are about to be on the street. Even if the option is worse than the street. I had friends actively looking for places for me and Coco and even the most vile option was explored. Yes, it had come down to that.

It was a horrible year but I learned who would be there for me and who would not. Now I accept and settle in and the fact that little shiver is now accompanied by disgust and thankfulness. Two things that never went together before now go together. That my darlings, is progress.

To think of all I narrowly escaped in that year definitely gives me a shiver but I am glad I am sitting here on my couch in my very own apartment and I can sit here and look at everything I have. Right now I am watching Coco play with a pen she swiped from the coffee table… lol too cute! I am thankful and I am definitely blessed.

Until next time… Blessed Be… Saila