That Shiver Came Back…

…but isn’t making itself at home this time, I’m not going to let it. The reason is simply because everyone has to renew their lease every year so it’s bringing back flashes of that homeless year. I know that isn’t going to happen but it gave me the shiver anyway. The thought that it’s a trick and they won’t renew keeps popping up. Ugh, it’s a simple (well, there is a lot of paperwork) form that we already filled out so it will be easy. Some of the younger alters are pitching a fit. They don’t understand. It’s hard to ease someone’s mind as well as comfort them when they lived through that year where something always threatened to put us out on the street.

So we have to remember our DBT skills. Especially mindfulness… I just look around and see all my stuff… I look at the walls and mentally describe what I see, what it looks like, I go touch it and feel the object under my fingers… I smell the smells – right now I smell chicken cooking lol. I remember that the place I live in is extremely hard to get in and when people get in they stay. I am one of those people who got in. I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon. I have to remember there is no reason for us to get “kicked out”.

Sometimes it’s hard to get away from a full-blown panic attack and one way that works for me is to blog/vent about it. Then I see the words on the screen and it makes it achievable. I will not panic, I will not worry… I will meditate more and follow the Reiki Principles:

The Five Reiki Principles



I – Just for today, I will not be angry.

Anger at others or oneself or at the whole world, creates serious blockages in one’s energy. It is the most complex inner enemy.

Reiki is an excellent tool to remove anger blockages which have accumulated in the body over years, but it cannot remove the residue of current anger which occurs daily.

Letting go of anger. brings Peace into the Mind.

II – Just for today, I will not worry.

While anger deals with past and present events, worry deals with future ones. Although worry is not always a negative phenomena, endless worries may fill one’s head, and each one bores a small hole in one’s body and soul. While anger requires a focused Reiki treatment to remove obstacles, worry requires the energy to be spread throughout the entire body.

Letting go of worry, brings healing into the Body.

III – Just for today, I will be grateful.

Be grateful from your heart inward. Inner intention is the important element in this principle. Simple things as thanks, forgiveness, smile, good words, gratitude can improve others life and make them happy.

Being thankful brings Joy into the Spirit.

IV – Just for today, I will do my work honestly.

Support yourself and your family respectably, without harming others. Earn a respectable living, live a life of honor.

Working Honestly brings Abundance into the Soul.

V – Just for today, I will be kind to every living thing.

Honor your parents, honor your teachers, honor your elders.

Being Kind brings Love into the Will.

It’s calming. It’s a reminder that The Universe has a plan for me and if I got through that year I can trust The Universe again to get me through anything.

Here is a song that is great for meditating to or just listening to in the background. Hope you enjoy! and… thanks for letting me vent… I do feel a lot better now!

So, until next time… Blessed Be… Saila