…but I should be so happy with everything I have been blessed with these past 9 months. But I’m not. There is an underlying sadness, depression, anxiety and loneliness that I have been dealing with for a while now. It crept up slowly on little cat feet… so slowly that I didn’t really know what was happening. I honestly was going to ask my Pdoc about a new med if I didn’t figure this out soon enough. lol But no, I figured it out and I knew I would because I gave it all to The Universe and kept asking the Angels for guidance.
I realized that I am dealing with Empty Nest Syndrome as well as dealing with the loss of my home. (My foreclosed on one) These are things I need to deal with and work through as soon as possible because I am tired of feeling this way. The best way to deal with a loss is by examining and applying the 5 stages of grief. I can do this for each thing and then work through them one at a time. The stages are tailored to a death of a person but you can substitute any major loss like I am going to do.
To start with I’m just going to list the stages and then another post will deal with each step and how I can get past that one and onto the next.
The 5 Stages of Grief
NUMBNESS & DENIAL-
The first reaction to a loss, numbness or shock can help cushion the blow and can help you get through the initial mourning rituals with the family and the funeral. This stage can last a few hours, days, or even a few weeks.
YEARNING & ANGER-
The numbness wears off, and the painful realization of the loss hits full-force; you will yearn deeply for your lost loved one. You may be angry and have regrets of things left unsaid or dreams never realized.
EMOTIONAL DESPAIR, SADNESS & WITHDRAWAL-
The storm of intense emotions of the second stage gives way to a period of heavy sadness, silence and withdrawal from family and friends.
Reorganization and the beginning of positive emotions- Over time, the sadness stage will start to lessen, and you will begin to see a lightening of your emotions. You will start to perceive your life in a more positive light, although bouts of grief and sadness will persist, probably for the rest of your life.
LETTING GO & MOVING ON-
The final phase of this model is to let go of your need for the lost loved one and to move on with your life. Sadness will lessen greatly, and new interests will gradually occupy your thoughts more and more, crowding out the misery and desolation. The final stage is when you “pull your life back together”.
I will work on the loss of my home of 15 years first so I can enjoy my beautiful apartment more. I don’t know why but it’s always better for me to blog about this stuff.. I can figure out more this way. Weird hu? Oh well lol anyway….
Until next time… Blessed Be… Saila