Friends with Benefits…


…hahaaa no, not those benefits lol the benefit in question here is going through the stages of grief under similar circumstances. It may not seem like a benefit but if it can be used to help someone else, to me it’s a benefit. I’ll tell ya a little more about it…

My friend Drew is facing homelessness for the second or third time now in less than a year… I faced homelessness 4 or 5 times in a year. She is so sweet in that she is worried that her experiences and our conversations would trigger me because I am currently working out my 5 Stages of Grief regarding my old condo and ending up homeless. (Bouncing around really but ‘park bench’ or shelter homelessness was a very real possibility and it almost came to that more than once.)

So I have been pondering her question to me… (“I was thinking and I’d like you to give this idea a thought. In the upcoming weeks, I am facing homelessness. Given that you are processing your own feelings of that trauma, I was wondering if my circumstances may cause you to have negative feelings or flashbacks that may harm you. Perhaps I should look to other friends to discuss my feelings and circumstances? I’d like for you to give it some thought, and let me know what your feelings on the subject are.”)

I have a few thoughts on it… one is (lol) that I can take the easy way out and say “oh yes, it would be too much for me bla bla bla…” and stop processing my own issue(s) or continue on as I am with processing it as well as being there for Drew as much as we can. I firmly believe that having gone through the fucking hell we went through that year or 2 would be such a waste if I couldn’t use my experience to help someone else.

Another similarity is that Drew recently started a DBT group and what did I do during my hellfire time? Start with a DBT group! So… we can help each other when and if the other floats away on a cloud of anxiety or whatever lol.

So there you have it, my answer. Drew, you can vent, cry, talk, joke, scream… whatever you need to do, just know that I understand what you are going through for the most part and I will be there for you.

Until next time… Blessed Be… Saila