A Strange Kind of Jealousy

Strange. Yes. Very much so. My friend Marion’s mom was recently dx’d with cancer and has started both radiation and chemo. She, Marion, makes the 3 hour trek to her mom’s every other weekend. She is moral support and usual support I guess you can call it.

I never got that with my mom. The weekend I was supposed to move back home and take care of her, she died. My first jobs were in the healthcare field, I was a Nurse’s Aide as well as a Home Health Aide so I was plenty qualified to provide hospice care for my mom. You see, she had cancer too but it didn’t turn out to well for her. 2 years from dx to death.

So what Marion is getting to do with her mom is what I never realized I missed so much. She gets to be there to help her mom through a rough patch. Be there for the fun times, like just going out to see a movie, be there for the bad times, like getting sick from chemo. Sitting with her while she gets her chemo… I never got to do that either. Yea, this is a strange kind of jealousy that Marion gets.

I never even realized it bothered me. I guess I’d better finally let myself grieve for my mother. It’s never too late right? I just wish I did it way back when I was 19. Soooo… watch for a new set of Stages of Grief posts.

Until next time… Blessed Be… Tanya

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