…sneaking in on little cat feet. I noticed this the other day. That feeling of dread, that nagging-something-is-about-to-happen-feeling. I mean it is the first of the month so the rent is due. That always used to make me anxious. Maybe this is residue of the flashback I got stuck in less than a week ago… that seems more likely. That flashback experience is one I would soon forget, except for one part… the part where my bf got me out of it in the most loving way possible. But damn, was it exhausting. I can’t tell you the last time I was stuck in a flashback that intensely. All our DBT training went right out the window. We remembered nothing. Absolutely nothing. DBT never even came to mind. Now THAT says something because it is usually always on my mind and I am quick to use one of the methods to gain focus when I needed to. Especially grounding when I find myself anxious.
So anyway… I am going to shooo these little anxious cat feet away and choose to believe the best. I started looking at it this way, if one can accept the worst situations and fully believe the worst is about to happen then why not think of the good and the positive that way too? Why is it so hard to believe something good can happen and so easy to believe something bad is going to happen?
Come on now, don’t tell me you always think positive and not negative… I believe that is a struggle for everyone. For me I think it’s because I don’t feel deserving. Well, fuck that because I. AM. DESERVING. and so are you.
On that note… thinking positively…
Until next time… Blessed Be… Tanya