The Black Sheep & Stage 4


As I sit here on my couch watching the race… I’m thinking about being just about out of Stage 3 and settling into Stage 4.

3. EMOTIONAL DESPAIR, SADNESS & WITHDRAWAL-
The storm of intense emotions of the second stage gives way to a period of heavy sadness, silence and withdrawal from family and friends.
4. REORGANIZATION-
Reorganization and the beginning of positive emotions- Over time, the sadness stage will start to lessen, and you will begin to see a lightening of your emotions. You will start to perceive your life in a more positive light, although bouts of grief and sadness will persist.

This rift, gap, chasm… whatever you  want to call it between my sister(s) and I is there and there is no saying otherwise. It’s sad really. One I make nervous and the other won’t speak to me at all. I can’t say “I’m over it.” because we’ll never be “over it”. There are some of my altars that to them, it was like yesterday. That sucks and that is what keeps us with one toe in Stage 3.

Anyway… I am learning to let go… to try to forget all the good times that we are no longer included in. It’s gotten to the point where I really don’t care anymore. Sure, it makes me sad but what can I do? It also relaxes me in a weird way… knowing there will be no more invites. Things have gone way to far to be repaired now anyway. So, I will continue to live my life in a positive light, let the sadness come and go like pollen on the breeze.

It’s good to be almost all the way in Stage 4. The overwhelming sadness was doing us no good at all. Things look lighter and brighter and I also have my friends help to thank for that… especially Kiki and Marion. They give me a boot to the bum when necessary lol.

Until next time… Blessed Be… Tanya