The Black Sheep ~ Stage 4

I will say that I am choosing to leave Stage 3 totally and move into Stage 4. Depression has no home here. Like in my last post, I will let the depression come and go like pollen on the breeze. I will not invoke it. Meaning I will not dwell on the past and what was, but will think realistically of how these things would actually be at this point. All I have to do is remember the last Christmas Eve we spent at my sisters. It was so terribly uncomfortable I couldn’t wait to leave. I knew then that things would never be the same again and anywhere I would go I would feel that same type of way.

The storm of intense emotions of the second stage gives way to a period of heavy sadness, silence and withdrawal from family and friends.

Reorganization and the beginning of positive emotions- Over time, the sadness stage will start to lessen, and you will begin to see a lightening of your emotions. You will start to perceive your life in a more positive light, although bouts of grief and sadness will persist.

We are remembering to see our life as it is not what it isn’t. We were going over what blessings we have for a few days already when Kiki came over and reinforced it. All I could do was smile and agree with her because I couldn’t believe I got that reinforcement from The Universe through her! (I’ve been asking for obvious signs.)

Let the bouts of grief and sadness persist… I will not succumb to them. I will always remember that Christmas Eve and that’s how things will be from now on. So anyway… I am going to watch a movie on my tv, wait on my bf, just sitting here on my couch looking at my view… not much of a sunset because it’s cloudy but it’s still MY view from my apartment! I am truly blessed! What I lack in family I have in friends!

Until next time… Blessed Be… Tanya