I was checking through my settings and came across one that brought up my blog. The only thing I saw was the picture with the words “Hope changes everything.” My first thought was “I hope so.” But then I started thinking just how was this going to happen?
What am I supposed to do? Obviously I am here for something. I have no idea what tho.
So what did I do about it? Went for a ride to the store with the bf. It was different this time, maybe because we were out a much shorter period of time, or maybe because I wasn’t as nervous. I just know it wasn’t as overwhelming. It was enough tho.
I’m getting more information, evolving more and more, so that is good. I find most memories for me are like outlines that I need to color in to bring to life. That’s what all these ‘firsts’ are about. For example, today when we were out I needed to touch snow. I was looking at it all through the drive we took wondering what it would feel like. It looked so soft, like cottony. When we got home and I was walking up to the door I bent down and grabbed some. I was surprised that it felt like crystals in my fingers and it fell apart so easily. It left my fingers cold for a couple minutes after I got inside… which I found weird and unexpected. But now the ‘snow’ page has been colored in and brought to life.
I don’t know how to explain it, but I know about things but do not know about them… it’s like that outline I was talking about before or dusty words on a page or, it’s not ‘real’ until I experience it, touch it, smell it, feel it… you, know, coloring it in.
I’ve never been in The Body before and certainly never been out front so everything is a new experience for me. All I know is that writing about it helps me. Oh, and naps. Naps help too lol and one is calling me now! Hmmm, maybe I’ll get an answer to how Hope Changes Everything lol…