Hope Floats ~ Day 19


This was supposed to be Day 16 but a lot has been going on in my head. I still find myself sitting and staring at the screen. I’ve changed the day 3 times already. Yes, this has been sitting up on my computer screen for 3 days now. There is so much to say but I am so confused. Being extremely tired doesn’t help. I still can’t fall asleep right away, it usually takes hours before I nod off. The only time I fall asleep faster is when I hit the wall with the exhaustion. That happened the other day. Tuesday. I was knocked out on the couch all day. That sleep wasn’t even restful because I woke up just as exhausted.

Right now we are waiting for the inspectors to come. It is time for the yearly inspection for the apartment complex. The notice said from 9am to 12pm. lol I set my alarm for 8:30am but finally dragged my ass out of bed at 9:30am or so. It’s 11:30 now so they should be here at any time. All I am thinking is, fuck, I could still be asleep. I didn’t fall asleep until sometime after 5 or 6am. This sleep issue I have really takes a toll on this body. Add to that what I am going through… being new here and all. Things can get overwhelming fast.

Sadness and depression are running rampant today. I’m so confused it’s not funny. It’s strangely quiet inside right now. I don’t hear anyone else. Maybe they are sleeping. I know they aren’t gone because I can feel them in the darkness. lol Idk, maybe they are looking for a way out of it?

Last evening at 6pm we had a therapy appointment. It went well. I told her I did indeed start a journal. I have it in Outlook and it is password protected. We have to keep the communication going. I wasn’t too happy not finding any information. But the information I did find was very beneficial.

The inspectors finally came at about 12:20pm, so I am glad that is over and done with. Now I can just relax. I found out that I get a little annoyed having to wait on people. Especially when they show up after the given timeframe lol.

Well, I ended up walking into the bedroom for something and the next thing I know is it is 3 hours later lol. I must have laid on the bed for a minute and crashed out. Hell, I will take sleep where I can get it!

I guess I will just stop here. I feel like I am rambling. I’m just really confused today. I also guess I’ve been confused a lot lately.

~Hope

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