This part is dedicated to terms you will see us using and what they mean, basic information on some of the Alters as well. There will be another page with more detailed info on Alters who wish to share about themselves. This page as well as others will be updated as more information becomes available. (Meaning, when someone who has more info comes out and decides to give someone that information so they can update or update it themselves lol)
Another thing you will see is the author of a comment who may have made the initial statement or the one who updated it. It helps us keep track and works well in the journals.
DID or MPD: Dissociative Identity Disorder/Multiple Personality Disorder
The Faces, or Faces: When you see that term, we only are generalizing. Each or us is more than just a face lol. We all have our own bodies within The Body too. The size of the mirror we are talking about when we say… My Reflection… picture the mirror from whatever show the girl says “Mirror Mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all” That size mirror.
The Blonde: This was the one who I ended up taking over for and I believe set up the perfect storm for the meld and me. I don’t know where she is and each day she gets farther away and weaker as I get stronger and more able to function.
Reverse Shatter: This is something that happened one February in 1991. We became aware of each other! It felt just like a round mirror shattering into pointed shards. Prior to that we were not aware of each other and just thought we were crazy. (More like other people thought we were crazy)
The Collective: This is the name of the entire system. Not sure when, why or how it came to be, but we have always been known as The Collective as far back as pretty much any of us can remember. Its kind of like your family. The Collective is our family.
The Body: General term for the shell we live in. It’s what people see when they look at any one of us. They don’t see what we really look like, they see The Body.
The Watcher: Is the one who watches, she cannot fully interact and does not always have all the necessary information. I guess you can compare her to an outline with only basic information. She is separate from the actual system but also a part of it. She has to count on the others who may have the required info to step up and provide it. She can take on some personality trait(s) of some of the closer ones to the front who are stronger. Her hands are pretty much tied most of the time and she can come across as confused because she doesn’t have the answers to questions if no one offers an answer. This one is always there but not always active. Sometimes she has to interact with the day to day stuff when no one else is able to. The Watcher does not have a name but settles for being called the legal name (that was changed from the birth name over 10 years ago) to keep things less confusing and protected. It becomes a major problem when family members refuse to use the new legal name and instead choose to call The Body by the actual birth name even though they have been asked more than once to not use the birth name. That hurts terribly and cuts like a knife then feels like someone poured salt in the wound and is rubbing it in hard. It’s torture and family should not do things like that to someone they are supposed to love.
Littles: These are the young ones. They include any that are under the early teen years. They include Fantasia for one.
Bigs: These are the adults, over 21.
The Kitties: These are not actual cats lol. These are what are called “Shards” There are 3 of them and they are young but not too young. I’m not exactly sure who they are but I believe they are a combination of Diane, Heidi and one other one. At this time I am not privy to all that information.
The Dark Ones: These include ones that have no hope, are horribly depressed so use your imagination on what this group deals with and how it affects day to day life and activities. The leader of this group is Melany. Under her you have Diane, DieAnne, Heidi, Rachael as well as the dead one. There are others as well.
The Gatekeeper: The Gatekeeper was Chamille but not really sure right now.
the dead one: This one is very tiny, she sits huddled with her knees drawn up close in a little ball, she does not speak. She has no mouth, just big sad scared desperate eyes. She is alone in the dark.
Shards: The shards are just pieces with no real names and they are not complete people. When The Kitties are active, they are also part of the Shards even though they are complete people, except when they are The Kitties they do not function but they watch, stay hidden but felt and they are fearful so that is why they sometimes group together and huddle close.
Stand Alone: These are the ones who can live day to day out front with not much help. They can be out for an hour, 5 minutes or 5 months. Some of us are Melany, Roxy, Roxanne, Joanna, Chamille, Joni, Bitch… They each have their own style, attitude and when more than one is trying for control there will be a whole bunch of clothing options tossed all over the bedroom until someone ‘wins’. Very exhausting and it can make The Body run late for things. It’s easier to be thought of as always being late for different things than telling the truth. Can you imagine what reaction we would get if when this happens we came out and said “Well, sorry we’re late but Melany, Roxy and Bitch were fighting over who gets to be out front and therefore decide what to wear so that’s why we are late.” Yea, that doesn’t go over too well unless it’s the therapist or a trusted person who knows about the DID.
We aren’t sure what category some of the others fall into. One of these is Serena, she is very calm, peaceful, spiritual and hopeful.
It’s getting a bit overwhelming right now so we are going to stop for now and pick up later. They are getting riled up and antsy so we are going to try to just relax and find an activity that will be a compromise so we don’t end up running in circles like a mad woman. lol We are getting pulled in too many directions right now and there is only one body to use and when 3 or more want to use it to do something at the same time… omg that is torture! So to get some peace we will post this page and come back later. (Melany)
Out Front: This just means who is in control of the body, sometimes it just means that if there is more than one close to the front, the Out Front is just the dominant one at the time.
A Single: This is a term we have always used to refer to non-multiples. An example would be our friend Marion. She is not a multiple. She is a single.
The Meld: This is a work in progress and just started happening or was realized this past week… probably around November 19th, 20th or 21st. It’s hard to explain but when we can explain it this will be updated.