I think I am ‘suffering’ from Empty Nest Syndrome. lol Idk, it makes sense to me. I never thought about it. I also never thought about Marshall not living with me. It was slow but it was sudden. If that makes sense. We knew we would have to leave the condo because we were getting foreclosed on but I really never thought of us being apart. Everything I did (looking for housing, apartments etc… ) I did with the expectation that he and I would stay together. It was an awful time but it is over now. I hate thinking about it.
I also never realized just how much of my life revolved around my son. His company… just being in the same home not necessarily interacting but just being in the same space together. Involved in the day-to-day issues… good and bad whatever they may be. Spontaneous baking late at night… just the little things that you don’t realize how much you will miss them later when they are just memories.
He’s on his own now, been that way for over a year and a half (it will be 2 years in July) living with his father, which is the same as on his own lol. That’s a good thing. Gives him independence. The knowing that he can live successfully on his own without me. Ah, without me. I fear he won’t need me anymore. But I am slowly realizing that he still needs me, it’s just in a different way. I shouldn’t feel depressed and useless. I shouldn’t feel that there is nothing left to do… there is. It’s all so different. Hard to adjust to.
So I asked The Universe for a message and this is what I got…
“Archangel Michael, what changes would you like to see me make in my life right now? Please clearly guide me upon the path of my life purpose.”
Changes. Yes. I need something that is going to interest me, make me feel good. I think this is affecting me more and more now because my life has settled down and I have been in my apartment for 8 months now. Longer than I have been anywhere in the past 20 months. Because my life is settled and secure I believe my mind has time now to ‘catch up’ to my situation. So maybe it’s not to unusual to feel that empty nest so acutely almost 2 years later. Ha, believe me there was plenty to keep me busy all those months. It was called surviving and not being on the street. Omg… how many times that was a very real possibility. Ugh… Needless to say my mind was plenty occupied. Now, not so much so there is time for my new reality to sink in and be processed. And… it sucks. But… I realize what it is now so that is half the battle. Dealing with feeling abandoned is another part of the battle.
So let’s see what Michael has to say to guide me to my life purpose… hell, I’ll be happy with just a little purpose right now… lol
Until next time… Blessed Be… Saila