Privacy? What Privacy?

Well, as I was falling asleep last night I realized something about this apartment. There has always been something that has kept me with a little bit of anxiety and I figure out what it was! When I lived in the condo the living room was on the second floor. The garage and laundry room were the first floor. So to answer the door we had to go downstairs. Here, the front door is right over there. (Pointing to the front door on my left. Yes, right over there.) My front door is right in my living room instead of downstairs.

That is something I need to get used to. It is a layer of privacy stripped away. That was an “Ah ha!” moment. I’m a girl who loves her privacy and I don’t like hearing foot traffic in my hall. It’s not bad, I mean I do live on the second floor. So that is a relief.

Now I just have to deal with it. What is good is I know now. I can adjust. I just don’t like a front door Right There! (Pointing again lol) I Need My Privacy. We’ll see how I do with this realization.

Until next time… Blessed Be… Tanya

The Black Sheep ~ Dreaming of Stage 5

So I have all my safeguards in place. Coming up there will be talk of my youngest sister’s July 4th Party. I still remember the first year I wasn’t invited… to find out via Facebook was pretty low. To prevent anything like that from happening again I have my plan that was put in place right after Christmas of 2015. (I talked about it in a prior post.)

Wow lol going back and looking for that post I realized we are REALLY trying to stay out of Stage 3 and get through Stage 4. Maybe stick a toe into Stage 5? I think it is too early for that… I want to see how we handle the next month and a day. (No, I’m not dwelling on it, I just looked at my calendar lol) This is something we are trying to get past. We want to get past it very badly.

The storm of intense emotions of the second stage gives way to a period of heavy sadness, silence and withdrawal from family and friends.

Reorganization and the beginning of positive emotions- Over time, the sadness stage will start to lessen, and you will begin to see a lightening of your emotions. You will start to perceive your life in a more positive light, although bouts of grief and sadness will persist.

The final phase of this model is to let go of your need for the loss and to move on with your life. Sadness will lessen greatly, and new interests will gradually occupy your thoughts more and more, crowding out the misery and desolation. The final stage is when you “pull your life back together”.

Like I said last time… done done done with Stage 3. Depression and sadness have no place in my heart. Little by little we are letting go of our need for them and moving on with our life. So there is the toe in Stage 5! Our dreams of being in Stage 5 are going to be realized! However, we also realize that we will be in Stage 4 for a bit yet. lol Ugh. Just gotta deal with it, process it and go through it.

I am finding that I don’t plan around family events anymore. That is a positive! I am planning around what I want, not what I feel as if I have to. I remember the looking forward to family things… well, all that is over now. There is nothing to look forward to anymore in that realm. And ya know what? It’s ok. It’s really ok. Not because I want it to be but because it has to be. They made it that way and I’m expected to live by it. I will just go away quietly and live my life out loud!

Until next time… Blessed Be… Tanya