Yes, you read that title correctly. lol I was sitting here thinking about Father’s Day and one picture I have of my Pops. It’s a picture of me and my 2 sisters standing in the den with him. I’m blonde in that picture. Why does that matter? Me saying I’m blonde? Because now I have red hair (again) and usually when there was a switch internally and the hair got dyed… whatever color the hair got dyed had to be the profile pic, only pics with that color hair went up… it was a barb in the side to see pictures of (a blonde) someone else on My stuff. You know where I’m coming from? I had to make it Mine and fast! It was a real bother.
Anyway back to the picture… I didn’t get that feeling this time seeing it. I was thinking about posting it on Sunday but then I figure no, not with the way things are with my sisters. And as for ‘my’ blonde hair? I looked at it as another sister, (It’s Joanna in the picture.) knowing it was an altar and being ok with that being seen. I think that was my issue… another way to ‘keep my DID under wraps’. Like having a party when your parents are out then having to clean it up really fast. There is always something tell-tale left out and forgotten. That was my fear… that something would be seen that wasn’t supposed to be seen. Or a question would be asked that I couldn’t or didn’t want to answer.
Interesting to find that I can embrace them instead of want to hide and ignore them. They are a part of me, always have been and always will be. I am deeply deeply grateful for my close friends who accept us for who we are no questions asked… well, sometimes there are questions lol but I can usually answer them.
I think removing people from social media is part of what’s helped us remove ourselves from their expectations… or what we may have imagined their expectations to be. To try to be who they would be comfortable with. Screw that… its way too exhausting. I like being around people who I can be we around without shame, fear or anxiety. I’m grateful that I have friends like that in my life.
Until next time… Blessed Be… Tanya